SMOKING HELLMILL IN SILICON VALLEY–
Researchers at Minderbinder University have confirmed what popular entertainment and private observations of disaffected adults have long reported: disinterest, argumentative belligerence, and outright disregard for other members of the human species is a sign of increased intelligence, emotional depth, and overall quality of personhood as defined by the latest in consumetric analysis.
These people, or “super-watchers,” as they are scientifically known, have a keen sense for political, economical, and social trends.
“These super-watchers are the backbone of civilization,” said researcher Carla Seine. “Their natural instinct for action means that, whenever a problem of any serious significance arises, they will immediately mobilize in force to address it at all costs.
Consequently, those crises they don’t fell compelled to respond to are always little things that just blow over.
“If super-watchers don’t care, it basically means it doesn’t matter.”
Growing research shows careful pet care and general love of animals as a sure-fire sign of those strong super-watcher habits. “Just like tragic events, super-watchers have an almost inerrant sense of valuation among living creatures. This means cute animals and common pets are worth more than most human life. To paraphrase, an unfed dog is a tragedy; millions of lives lost in the global south are a statistic.”